Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
