if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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