They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
