OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
