She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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