i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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