i permit you to call me
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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