i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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