I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
