i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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