I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize