super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
