Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
