She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
