Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
