we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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