Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We are all done wearing pants today
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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