well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
