So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
