he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize