Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
