Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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