What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
