Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
