My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
