R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I seem to have left my pride at pride
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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