took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
