Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
