no. you can't hotbox the world.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
