Me. At least after what I've been through.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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