Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
