i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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