why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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