You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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