Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
