Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
