16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
