In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I lost the right to judge tonight
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
