Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
