I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
