I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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