How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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