Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just sucked dick on a ferry
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
