The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
