Non-Jews are for practice
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
