Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
