i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
