Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
