i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
