Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
