Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
