Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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