i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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