I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
