I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
