Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
