im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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