im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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