If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
