She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize