He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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