just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
