Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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